Category Archives: Sentimental

I lost a friend today, to stage 4 stomach cancer.

It is so sad. I knew her since we were like 18, 19 way back during college years. We were even working in the same company after both of us graduated from Uni.

About 2 months ago, she decided to quit her job and be a full time mom. She messaged me via Facebook asking about things to do at home, things that could earn money while carrying her task as a mother of two. Her 9 month old daughter is still breastfeeding when she was warded to the hospital.

I am glad that I made time to chat with her that day. That was the last time we communicated before she fell sick and went offline. And then I found her status stating that doctor suspected she has lymphoma cancer which turned out to be stage 4 stomach cancer. It then has spread to her bone marrow. I visited her in the hospital on 16th September, almost didn’t make it but now as I am typing this I was glad that we braved through the heavy rain. She was surrounded with family when I visited her.

Seeing her on the hospital bed, with blood infused to her vein, bruises all over her body, no longer able to digest food with sick and bloated tummy made me realized how short and frail life could be. It doesn’t matter what kind of car you drive, how big your house is or how much money you make and have in the account, in the end if you are lucky, it’s your loved ones that will be by your bedside day and night, and that is priceless.

That night after I visited her, for the first time as I lie on bed waiting for my son to fall asleep, I feel really blessed to be a mother. I imagined her not being able to breastfeed her daughter and not even able to see her 4-year old son in the hospital since before Hari Raya.

I pray that she is in a better place now. Al Fatihah.

1. Life should have choices beyond mere survival.

2. You have the right to say ‘NO’ to anything when you feel you are not ready or it is unsafe.

3. Life should not be motivated by fear.

4. You have the right to all of your feelings.

5. You are probably not guilty.

6. You have the right to make mistakes.

7. There is no need to smile when you cry.

8. You have a right to terminate conversations with people who make you feel put-down or humiliated.

9. You can be healthier than those around you.

10. It is OK to be relaxed, playful, and frivolous.

11. You have a right to change and grow.

12. It is important to set limits and be ‘selfish.’

13. You can be angry at someone you love.

14. You can take care of yourself no matter what circumstances you are in.

15. You have the right to be illogical in making decisions.

16. You do not have to offer reasons to justify your behavior.

17. You have the right to change your mind.

18. It is OK to tell somebody what your needs are (although they may not care to do anything about it.)

19. You can be the judge of your own behavior, thoughts and emotions and be responsible for their initiation and the consequences upon yourself.

20. You have a perfect right to be happy.

~Original source unknown.

While blog hopping today and see so many wonderful craft creations around the world, I found this poignant writing by Kate Swoboda. Here is the original link to her post – Love Letter To The World.

In the face of complaints, look that person in the eye and imagine what it might have been like to be raised to see only what is wrong.

In the face of selfishness, wonder what it might be like to walk the world with a feeling of lack, of depletion.

In the face of insults, consider where this person first learned that it’s okay to abuse others.

In the face of disconnection, think about what causes it, and ask if your response will widen the river between the two of you.

In the face of laziness, recognize the fear of living big dreams.

In the face of extremism or fundamentalism, see the clinging, as well as the terror-filled silence that would arise for that person if they risked letting go.

In the face of controlling behavior, understand the chaos that must have bred it.

In the face of “always needing to be right,” see how often this person was once made wrong.

In the face of arrogance or bravado, hold gently that still, small piece that says “I’m not enough.”

In the face of drama or attention-seeking, see the person who wishes so much to be seen.

In the face of accusation, imagine what it might be like to live life with suspicion.

In the face of judgement or comparisons, step into the opportunity the world has just provided you for practicing love and acceptance.

In the face of passive-aggressiveness, recognize the child that wasn’t taught a safe way to express their truth.

In the face of anger, see the pain of isolation from others.

Most importantly: In the face of ferocious hatred, believe in the possibility that there exists the potential for equally as big, intense, lovely and fiery ferocious love.

A story by a girl.

“When I was a little girl, my mom like to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work..

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed!

Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember Watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad For burning the toast. And I’ll never forget what he said : “Baby, I love burned toast.”

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if He really liked his toast burned.. He wrapped me in his arms and said, “Debbie, your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she’s real tired. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!”

You know, life is full of imperfect things….. and imperfect people. I’m not the best housekeeper or cook.’What I’ve learned over the years is that learning to accept each other’s faults – and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences – is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.”

And that’s my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and “lay them at the feet” of GOD. Because in the end, He’s the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where burnt toast isn’t a deal-breaker!

We could extend this to any relationship in fact – as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!! ”

“Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket but into your own.”

P/S: Thanks Sai for sharing this on your blog.