Monthly Archives: January 2010

After a year of being a mom, I am still in search of other moms that share the same sentiments I have towards motherhood and how we should raise our child, but I am yet to find one.

Most mothers that I know work full time, those that have their own business or perhaps think that they are the kind of work-from-home-moms are not that similar like me because they have maids or send their kids to nurseries so that they can carry on with their daily work.

For those who are stay-at-home moms, they are simply SAHM who do nothing apart from taking care of their kids and their household.

I am something in between, I am a SAHM who tries to continue running my business at home while taking care of my son 24/7. I have no maid, no helper and never send my son to nursery. I used to work full time 7 years ago, I used to stay at home doing nothing for half a year, I used to run business from home successfully pre baby years (for the past 5 years), and now I am a mom who tries to juggle everything. I wonder if there is anyone out there who is like me, who could at least understand what it feels being someone like me?

I am still looking…

It seems that most people that asked me about whether I am going to have another child gave me some serious weird look whenever I told them that I don’t plan to add any.

What is wrong with having an only child? I was an only child till I was 10 and till now I still don’t understand why my parents have to insist on having additional child in their life when all they ever said and whined is that a child is a burden to parents..sigh!

Was is a family pressure that makes them HAVE to have a son? Is a daughter never good enough as a child? Is it a society norm to keep on getting pregnant and give birth, while you never care of how your child might turn out to be. This world is already so full with ugly, stupid, rotten people and I for once think that my current responsibility of raising a son to be a good person is heavy enough to add another one on my shoulder.

Maybe I think differently from others, but hey, it’s my thought, my choice and my rights. If you want to churn out one child every single year, go ahead. Just don’t give me some stupid remarks or lame excuses on why I should follow your way.

In a bathroom, a tube of toothpaste lies open on the floor. Its top has rolled goodness knows where. A toothbrush with some paste on it lies unused on the rim of the sink. Someone must have been disturbed who was about to brush their teeth. That person is in the next room. She’s a woman, a mother with her baby. What is she doing? Well, how you answer depends on you yourself and what you see when you look at her.

Putting two and two together, you may seen an unfortunate woman with a very demanding baby who couldn’t even wait two minutes while his mother brushed her teeth but cried and cried until she had to go and pick him up. You may offer to hold the baby, but the baby is so unreasonable that he clings to his mother and won’t trust you or anyone else. You may ask yourself why babies were ever invented. This probably isn’t you. You will have your own unique way of seeing. I’m going to end this book by telling you what I see.

I see a totally exhausted-looking mother, pale with dark shadows under her eyes, who miraculously has the energy to sing and rock her baby in a way that he is starting to recognize. I see him relax, and his tense body seems to melt into her arms. He isn’t crying now. His whole being is attentive to the music and wonderful rhythm of the mother who is comforting him so well. It takes a long time until he finally reaches sleep. When he does, the entire room seems at peace. Something momentous seems to have changed. It has been a journey, a transition from distress into harmony. The mother looks up with a warm smile. The miracle was hers, but perhaps you and I helped her by being there and seeing what she did as “something”.

Taken from What Mother Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing by Naomi Stadlen