I am happy this year to celebrate Hari Raya. Reason No.1 : it’s our first Aidilfitri together as one family. Reason No.2 : I don’t have to endure long hours of traveling as we will be celebrating it here…as per few years before this.
Somehow I don’t understand why people have to balik kampung every time there’s long weekend or public holiday. Maybe because they have family that love them and it makes sense for them to sacrifice their rest day, energy, effort and money to travel so far to meet their family at home.
Honestly, I don’t know how it feels because in my case, family always make me feel that I am obligated to meet their demands, that I am never good enough in anything I do and decisions in life that I choose to make are not what they want and expect of me.
Of course, deep down I wish that I have it differently, that I could celebrate Hari Raya happily with extended family, being surrounded with love, attention and good feelings. But I know that won’t happen, not even in the past 30 years of my life (not even when I was still single), maybe it was fun when I was a child but that was it..huh!
I pray that one day when my son is old enough, he will come home for Hari Raya not because he feels obligated but because he misses us and wants to spend the festive season as a family.