On Being A SAHM


This year marks the 11th year that I’ve been a homemaker. There were few years previously that I tried to be a WAHM, but for the past 2 years I have been a stay-at-home mom entirely.

There are times that I wonder whether all the years spent as a stay-at-home mom really makes a difference. I wouldn’t know because there’s no other option for me. My son is autistic and has never spend a day in daycare. The only other person ever to take care of him is my husband. We basically have no extended family support. I have never let my son stays overnight with any other family member, since they never offer to babysit him.

When women my age or younger said they would like to try being a work-at-home mom or stay-at-home mom, my unsolicited advice for them would be that they have to be tough mentally and emotionally.

Most women who used to have their own money from working a 9-5 job will think that the main obstacle being a SAHM would be the lost of income. Yes, that’s true. But if you have a supportive spouse who is not stingy, you wouldn’t need all the money you used to earn, to survive basic life. There will be sacrifice on your side, I admit that, like not being able to splurge on branded stuffs, buy impulsively, things like that. But for the past decade that I’ve met people who decided to become SAHM, none of them ever been destitute on the street.

The main problem with being a SAHM is how happy you could be at home, juggling life with kids and house chores, mundane routine that at the end of the day seems like you are doing nothing all day. At one point, you will start asking yourself whether you are wasting the talent and education you got, by being a homemaker.

So for those who would like to choose this path of life after years of being a career women and mothers, I would say give it a try. The first 6 months would be the hardest phase to get through but eventually if you are meant to be a SAHM, you will find the peace in such vocation.

Leave a Comment

Filed under General



Many years ago when I still couldn’t decide whether I want to have a child or not, people keep on telling me that I should. For many different reasons.

Some are religious wise, some are more selfish, like who will care for you when you are old and sick if you don’t have any child, well, you know what I mean.

Now after 7 years plus of being a mother, I know why I want to have children. It’s for the legacy you pass down upon your flesh and blood.

You can see it right after the child come out from you. It’s in the feature, the skin color, the temperament, the personality. The fact that he cried his lungs out making demand the first night at the hospital, not wanting to be separated, having forced to sleep on his own in the tiny cot in the nursery.

As the child grows, you can see how the nature brings out the best and the worst of you in him. The fact that he refuses to sleep even though it’s way past the normal bedtime for a 2-year old toddler. Or how he can throw a really terrible tantrum just like how your mother described you at his age, sigh!

These things humbled me. It makes me realized that unconditional love really exist in this world. Beyond the obligation and responsibility of being a parent, there lies a bond that could not be severed.

The legacy you pass down will remain as long as the bloodline continues.

The fact that he inherits your love for reading by stacking all the hardboard books on the pillow after reading them, just like you used to do long before he was born. And the mess he loves to pile on the floor and every empty space possible, just like what you used to do in your old bedroom.

Legacy..that’s a legitimate reason on why every one in this world should have children of their own.

Leave a Comment

Filed under Parenthood

Garden Mission For 2017

I came across different kind of tools for soil sampling while doing research the other day. For a newbie in gardening like me, all these gadgets and technical terms sound so confusing.


Well, the reason I think to get some soil sample is because I have been trying to plant a different kind of fruit trees at this space for the past 3 years but every time it grew as tall as a few feet, it died for no apparent reason. Last year the papaya tree was already as tall as me, even started flowering when it suddenly shed all the leaves and eventually died. I even tried planting lime and lemon trees at that patch of soil but after a while they just withered and died. Perplexing, huh?

So far the only type of plants that thrive over there is the flowering type like portulaca, jasmine and ruellias. Oh, and the green herbs have been growing really well there to the extent that I have to prune them every month to avoid the area looking like a crowded bush.

From the reading I’ve done, soil sampling could help to determine the need for aeration and to select the proper fertilizer for root development. The soil sampling should be done before doing any new landscaping so that if the soil test report recommends lime, you will have enough time to apply it and have it adjust the soil pH before you can plant.

If an established area exhibits abnormal growth or plant discoloration, take a soil sample right away. You may want to submit matching plant tissue samples or separate soil samples for nematode assay. After reading this, I thought maybe this could be the main reason why the fruit trees died – because of the nematode problem. Some nematodes are beneficial, controlling grubs and other insects in the soil. Other nematodes are harmful to plants, burrowing into roots and making their way up the stems and leaves.

One of the solution for the nematodes problem is to amend the soil with plenty of organic matter prior to planting. Till or dig the organic matter several inches into the soil. The organic matter will help suppress the nematodes and keep them from causing as much damage.

Well, I have to try one of these many suggestions if I would like to go further with the fruit tree mission for the year of 2017. Will let you know if any of the solution work out. :)

Leave a Comment

Filed under Home Improvement

The Sunflower Garden


I was browsing through some pictures of pavers patios a few days ago and thought wouldn’t it be nice to have one at home.

Well, not that we have the space anyway, living in a terraced housing area with limited yard like now.

traditional-patioAnyway, since some websites say that paver patio is not that hard to installed on your own (if you have all the necessary tools), I read further to research.

For those who have the space and yard, having a paver patio is a great home improvement idea since it could handle heavy traffic and requires low maintenance. Furthermore if you manage to hire a reliable landscaping contractor, you can get your pavers patio ready in a weekend.

You can also choose different types of pavers either made of natural stone, brick or concrete.

Pavers made from natural stones are more expensive than bricks and concrete but they are not ideal for high-traffic areas as they can break under pressure. Bricks pavers are very strong, stain resistant and you can use sealants to prevent fading.

Concrete pavers are the best choice if you need something that are durable. Plus they are available in a variety of colors and styles with interlocking patterns.

I also found some tips and tricks useful for homeowner who is planning to install pavers patio. One of them is to keep a few extra stones or bricks on hand to make repairs easier (you never know when your particular paver may be discontinued). Broken pavers can be removed by prying them out with a couple of screwdrivers or a thin pry bar.

Another useful tips is that you need to make sure it does slope away from your home’s foundation and toward an area that can either handle additional moisture or is an existing drainage area.

So which contractor you wish to contact today for your new pavers patio? I hope you’ll enjoy the view of blooming sunflowers from your patio soon. Call me if you need additional friend to flip the burgers on the BBQ, heh!

Leave a Comment

Filed under Home Improvement

Snakes and ladders


I started rolling the dice. I got 7. Son got 2. He was upset because it seems that he was behind in the game. We continued to move. My son’s turn. And then suddenly he got to the first ladder. He was happy. From the slow start he was now on the third row.

This is what happened in life. Some people seems to have a good start while you are still struggling. But by Allah’s mercy and his endless bounty, even when you least expect it, you manage to get to higher places – good job, better salary.

We continued playing. At times it feels so boring, same old routine, you roll the dice, you move according to the numbers you get but ultimately the goal you are aiming for is the spot where 100 resides.

There are times that you wish you get more number from the dice, because by that you could move up faster. No matter how much you try, you never know how much you can get until the dices have been rolled on the floor.

My son put the dices in his palm. He rolled it so hard hoping he will get more. And then it turned out to be 2, one each from the dices. With frustration, he moved.

Sometimes we work so hard. We tried our best yet we feel that we don’t get what we expect, not realizing that Allah has another plan for us.

As we moved along in the game, Son got 8. And he said, “If I got 11 just now, I would have been eaten by the snake..” That time he was at the second top row. A few more steps towards 100.

That’s the wisdom in sustenance (rezeki). It’s either you get what you want, or you’ll be saved from the harm.

And as he reached 98, he said I just need 2 to win. It turned out he got 10 and has to reversed 8 steps backwards. He was upset when he got 2 few times before in the game, remember? And yet now how he wishes to get the same number to win the game.

As for me, I got eaten by the snake at 91 and fell down to 25.

We didn’t finish the game but I did learn the lessons.

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Leave a Comment

Filed under Parenthood